So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
