I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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