White coat. Heels.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I forget how to act sober
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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