i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
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i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
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you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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