No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
