I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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