So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize