weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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