You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
