Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
