let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
A+ Viking dick
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
