yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
