They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He passed out mid-signature
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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