Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
