The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation