it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
