I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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