Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3pm strippers are depressing
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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