It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My vagina is officially offended.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
