I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
