I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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