Sry I called you an 8
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
