I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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