Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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