I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
it's not cheating when I paid for it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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