we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
