I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
