i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
