I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
