Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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