okay pat passed out under dana's car
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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