....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
