tell your sister to shave her snatch
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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