and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
