Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
