We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Randomize
