my phone needs a breathalizer
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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