I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
