Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize