ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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