Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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