then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
