Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
