I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
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When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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