Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!