oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
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dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
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I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.