My nipple is on Facebook.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
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I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!