Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
