You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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