I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
