But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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