I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
