Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
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