She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
