I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
