dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
