In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
