I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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