Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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