I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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