i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
