so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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