Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
